To Whom It May Concern,
I regret to inform you that the the only roads in or out of town are closed. That means I...CAN'T GET TO WORK!!! Even if I could get there, the school's officially closed for the day.
I have done the right thing, and left a message, offering my services to the nearest school, just on the off chance it's open. There may be a grit shortage in this area, but it's not a shortage of true grit, I assure you.
However, in the absence of my phone ringing... I'm not sure how to put this. What about...WOO HOO!!