Oh Dear

I write this with a thumping head and a creeping sense of guilty embarrassment. Last night, I drank too much, and argued loudly in the kebab shop.

It was a silly argument. I pointed out to my friends, can't remember why, that without modern infrastructure Britain could only support some ten percent of its population. Funny, last night, I knew that I was completely right about everything. Now I'm not so sure. Is it ten percent, or twenty? Did I forget to mention that this is a study I heard about on a YouTube video, and that it was commissioned in the 1950s, looking into what would happen in the event of a nuclear attack? (I think the figure was, 10% of those who died would die of the initial blast and radiation poisoning, the rest would die because of loss of infrastructure) I can't think why it was so important for me to convince my drinking buddies, the young couple, the bloke with the wrinkly dog, the staff of the Kebab shop...that I was right.

Kebab Shop Owner: 'People would find a way to survive. You only need a cow.'

Me: 'Oh yeah, where's your cow?'

KSO: 'Turkey.'

Me. 'How you gonna get to Turkey?' (In my scenario, there was no transport)

KSO: 'I will sail to France and walk from there.'

Me: 'Right. What will you eat along the way?'

Guy With the Wrinkly Dog: 'There's cows right here in England, mate.'

Me: 'What are you going to feed them?' (There will be no cattle-feed deliveries. This is a total breakdown of everything.)

GWWD: 'Grass. Cows eat grass.'

Me: 'How much grass do you need to support a cow? How many people can one cow feed?'

...and so on. I 'proved' to them that, according to my scenario, which is backed up by a dilligent and precise scientific and mathematical study, by highly intelligent and honest people, who dedicated their lives to it, and what have you done with your life that gives you the right to criticize them?... every item in the kebab shop, from Coke to lettuce, would be unavailable to us, and that we would all starve to death.

I ended up walking home alone, eating a chicken kebab as if it were my last.

When I got back, I tried to google up the study. I couldn't. So I watched the YouTube video again.

It's this one, in case you're wondering.